Sarah Round The World

Shit. I just realised, Dad, that I’d completely forgotten to let you know that I’ve officially not been dismembered by the yakuza yet. I was kind of hoping you’d be inferring as much through the prodigious blog output and daily Wordle score updates, but – just for the record – as it stands, I am currently sporting all my appendages (though there is still time on this front, of course…).

Anyway, my last couple of days in Tokyo were have been both busy and brilliant – hence it taking me a while to get everything all written up, and I’ve also ended up splitting this into a bit of a two-parter to keep this entry from running on forever… For now though, let’s rewind a bit and start back where we left off, after an admittedly somewhat meh type of a day in hazy Hakone on the Friday and the onset of sleep deprivation proper (I swear I could feel my brain literally seizing up at one point…).

Thank God, I finally managed to get in some decent sleep that evening in the end, and in fact was back up and out bright and early again the next morning to hit up the Tsujiki fish market over in the neighbouring Chuo district of the city. Anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely bloody love me a food market at the best of times – but a Japanese food market on top of that…?!? My cup well and truly runneth over.

Not that I don’t also love a good supermarket visit in a different country too – particularly if the local alphabet is in a non-roman script for maximum confusion potential. For example, how many drink varieties can there possible be, and what’s inside them all…? Am I currently in the snack food aisle or the pet food one…?? Is that wine or vinegar or soy sauce or cola in those bottles, or none of the above? So many questions, so little time… 😉

Running with that theme a little bit, shifting from culinary blind spots to more matters of minor mystery encountered when in a foreign land. Here are some of mine from my time in Japan to date… Firstly, why is Japan’s toilet paper so inexplicably thin…? Why are the escalators insufficiently speedy and the elevators so overly effusive…? Where on earth are all the public bins…? Why the hell did the Japanese powers-that-be let an ephebophile design the school uniforms…? Why the ubiquitous vending machines – are the Japanese just congenitally thirsty…? Where did all the Harajuku girls disappear to…? What the eff are they putting in the matcha here to make it so god damn addictive…?  How come Tokyo city can put wifi on the underground and Transport for London can’t….? And I still seriously don’t get the deal with all that plastic food…

Anyhooooo, I digress – let’s get back to Tsujiki. Long story short, I spent a loooong time exploring here yesterday morning – and the below represents only a teeny tiny fraction of the several hundred pics I took in the process (when I said I liked markets, I seriously meant it…). As it was still breakfast time (at least in my book), I took the chance to try an amazake drink (a sweet, hot, non-alcoholic sake, which pretty much looked and tasted like hot, thin, sugary milk porridge) and grabbed a couple of white strawberry mochi (white strawberries being quite a ‘thing’ here) to set me up for the day – and I may well have to come back for a lunch or dinner round here before I go as well…!

By the time I left Tsujiki, it had turned into an absolutely glorious spring day – the first since I arrived that I haven’t needed either coat or jumper or both… And that means cherry blossom time!!!! Over the course of the day, I visited three prime sakura stops – Hamarikyu Park; Chidorigafuchi Moat and finally the Kitanomaru Gardens in the grounds of the Imperial Palace (where Tokyo comes out in force to picnic). The pictures speak for themselves in terms of the sheer beauty of Japan’s sakura season, but it’s definitely a case of ‘blink and you miss it’… The blossom is already starting to fall (a little earlier this year than usual) and I sense this may well be my lot for the trip in sakura terms – unless Kyoto can hold out just that little bit longer. All told though, I’m really chuffed even just to have seen what I’ve seen so far – it is something very special to behold here, that’s for sure.

Once again, these just a tiny snapshot of sakura pics taken over the course of the day (I’ve apparently still yet to reach my upper limit of photos taken of pretty trees from various slightly differing angles…). I have to say on that front, one of my favourite things about Japan is never having to feel self-conscious asking a stranger to take your picture (photographing anything that moves – or indeed anything that doesn’t – constituting something of a national past time here…). That, and the fact that the nearest toilet is signposted pretty much literally everywhere you go – which is, needless to say, eminently reassuring for us poor, long suffering, tiny bladdered types…

Anyhoo, I had been planning to go on to the Shinjuku Gyoen park as my fourth and final sakura stop for the day, but even I was feeling just a teensy tiny bit cherry blossomed out at this point. Instead, I decided to head up to Akihabara, Tokyo’s famous manga, anime, gaming and electronics area – not to mention red light district – to round off the afternoon’s activities.

However, I personally think that particular weird and wonderful little visit is worthy of its own entry in and of itself – please stay tuned for a further update shortly… 🙂

Well, today marked a much-needed change of pace from the last few frenetic days, with a day trip out of the city and into nature at Hakone – a volcanic spa resort about 90 minutes outside of Tokyo, with views out onto Mount Fuji (on a good day). Which – unfortunately for me – it wasn’t. I had been monitoring the weather apps even up to this morning before setting off, but for whatever reason in the end it remained stubbornly hazy and overcast all day – just the usual unpredictability of mountain weather, I suppose…

In essence, this meant that I ended up taking a train from Tokyo (a normal one, not a bullet, that is), a zig zag (switch back) train up a mountain, a funicular railway up further still, and final a cable car – all to visit a mountain resort in decidedly iffy visibility and with a distinct chill in the air too… On the upside, this did give my poor beleaguered feet a rest at least – I’ve been averaging about 30,000 steps a day since I first got here, and they both bloody hurt at this point!

From the cable car, I did get to see voluminous plumes of sulphurous smoke rising from the craters at Owadukani’s appropriately named ‘Hell’s Valley’ (a decidedly eggy whiff in the air here – and don’t be looking at me on this one either… 😉 ). I also managed to catch a glimpse of Mount Fuji – albeit a way off in the distance and with visibility not particularly great on this occasion either… Still counts in my book though!

On the food front, Hakone apparently specialises in two things: Japanese sweets (mochi) and black eggs – and when in Rome and all that… Black eggs are essentially just normal eggs, but which have been boiled in the aforementioned local sulfurous waters to give the shells and albumen a distinctive color (but no dead bird’s foetus fermenting in there or anything like that…). It was quite nice actually, as eggs go that is. Plus apparently eating one will extend your life by seven years – which in my case will hopefully go some way towards counteracting all the booze and fags I’ve consumed over the last X many years (till recently, that is…!).

I’d also been intending to visit Takone’s local hot springs while I was here, but ended up inadvertently shooting myself in the foot on this one by taking the wrong bus back into town again (same end destination, but going via the loooong circuitous local route – an easy mistake to make when all the signage and timetables are in kanji…). By the time I got back to the centre again, I’d pretty much run out of both time and enthusiasm for Hakone (which in fairness really needs the weather on form to do it justice), so sensibly decided to call it a day and head back to Tokyo for a much needed matcha latte and a chill instead.

As it happens, while on the way back in again, I finally received my sleep report from the first night’s capsule hotel. Now, I personally have zero frame of reference here in knowing what ‘good’ looks like in sleep terms – but at first sight I read this as that I’m a complete nocturnal fidget with an irregular heart beat and a tendency to stop breathing intermittently (and 18 seconds is quite a long time in respiratory terms as well…). That being said, I’d have likely slept a lot better had it not been for the tracker device whirring over and over all night in the first place, so it’s probably a case of swings and roundabouts all round really… I won’t be losing any sleep over it at any rate (boom boom!).

Anyway, speaking of sleep, I now urgently need some – apparently the above was the one night in the last 5 where I’ve gotten in more than 4 hours in all night, and I’m failing fast at this point… So with that in mind, I’ll keep it short but sweet for tonight then, and will be sure as ever to check in again in a day or two’s time!

Thanks all for the comments in the meantime! I’m glad some of you are enjoying reading along; I’m certainly enjoying putting this all together… 🙂 xx

Well, despite horrible night’s sleep last night (all those matcha lattes clearly coming back to haunt me….), I was still up bright and early this morning for a long-awaited trip to watch the local morning sumo rehearsals. I’d have ideally rather have gone to a proper sumo match, of course, but there are no tournaments on at this time of year – so figured this would be a ‘good enough’ close second while I’m here.   

Now, I’ve been around the block long enough on the travel front to know that anything you book via Viator is unlikely to be the truly “authentic” local experience you might personally wish for – which, in my head, would be quiet and respectful observance at an historic dojo, watching on in silent admiration, as a group of novice sumo wrestlers trained and rehearsed together in their ‘natural state’ (or something vaguely akin to it at any rate…).

Even going by my already low expectations, however, what actual unfolded was a protracted scene of pure, unadulterated, almost physically painful bullshit. Suffice to say that a very broad interpretation of ‘sumo rehearsals’ had been applied here, which in this case actually translated as a bunch of about fifty very gung-ho Americans (both in terms of the tour leads themselves and 99.9% of tour participants) – plus two token Japanese sumo practitioners roped in to perform for the occasion – gathering in a mundane modern sports hall, and then going on to spend the morning non-ironically pantomiming / parodying sumo for the sole benefit of the tourists present. Between you and me, I have my doubts that the supposed “sumo champions” in attendance even qualified as that, personally – I mean, I carried more weight in my teenage puppy fat days than either of these guys, quite frankly…

And so I did a bunk. No drama or anything – but I’ve got better things to do with my time in Tokyo than to waste another two hours on this undiluted bull crap, that’s for sure…

‘What kind of things, Sarah?‘, I hear you ask… Well, dear reader, I’ll tell you: only the MOTHER FLIPPING TOKYO POOP MUSEUM – that’s frikkin’ what! Which – despite being an institution brought solely into being in the noble pursuit of honour, tribute, dedication and devotion to the humble turd (unko in Japanese) – was, in fact, markedly less shit than this morning’s sorry excuse for entertainment. At least here I knew what I was signing up for!

I’d expected ‘bonkers’, and the Poop Museum (PooMoo? – I seriously think that moniker could catch on) certainly did not disappoint on this front. In fact, this place constituted a veritable assault on the senses (bar – ironically enough – smell…) from the moment you walked through the door. By way of example, here’s a sense of what psychotropic absurdity awaits you just within the first three minutes of your visit alone:

What more can I tell you about the sheer wonder and awe that is the Poo Museum…? Mere words fail me here in doing the place justice, but picture this if you will:

A museum that, on entry, has its staff immediately cajole you into sitting atop a rainbow toilet (in a row with other recently admitted guests), and charges you with making various mock strain grunts and grimaces, while employees film and photograph you in the imitative – hopefully! – act.

Where said toilet then ‘magics’ up a plastic poo (in assorted colours) – as dropped in through the u-bend from behind a wall. Where staff then order invite you to stick a wooden stick into the bottom of aforementioned plastic poo, then to carry it round with you all throughout the installation (in fact, they even let you take it home with you afterwards too…).

Which features its very own rainbow poop volcano (“collecting poop energy from all over the world as it prepares to erupt“, according to the brochure…); a ‘draw your own poop’ section; an arcade dedicated to all things faecal matter; and an offshoot room where all the kids are worked up into a giddy frenzy of screaming ‘UNKOOOOOO!!!!’ at the top of their voices every 5 seconds or so (as if they needed any encouragement…!).

And which, at the end, has you exit the building via a gaping, anthropomorphic (not to mention vaguely menacing-looking) toilet. Almost as if – through this 30 minute transformational experience of frenzied, disorienting, turd-inspired noise / madness / colour / sheer and utter insanity – you yourself have now become the poo. It’s actually all quite meta really, when you start to think about it…

In short, the Poop Museum was everything I’d hoped for and more – and I know you’ll want to see some of the pics. I did think the inclusion of the cherry blossom (a subtle nod to the season, if you like) was a particularly classy touch here… 😉 .

Anyhoo, that’s holiday presents for the kids sorted from the gift shop, at the very least!

Emerging back to reality for now, another big plus of the Poop Museum was its location over in sunny Tokyo Bay, which I’d reached earlier that afternoon via Japan’s equivalent to London’s DLR (though unfortunately I didn’t get to be ‘driver’ on this occasion… 😦 ).

In fact – even without the bonus presence of the PooMoo – Tokyo Bay definitely represents my favourite part of city so far. This was in part due to its wide waterfront cityscapes, sunny vistas and the generally more relaxed atmosphere here – in comparison to the frenetic pace of Tokyo downtown, at any rate (though, in fairness, most places would fall into that category!). This being said, the fact of the random giant robot and replica Statue of Liberty also situated here (for reasons I could only ever hazard a guess at…) certainly did no harm to my positive first impressions of the place either, I suppose…

Anyhoo, fast forward to later in the day – and turns out I’m not doing at all well today on the organised tour front (a timely reminder as to why I usually avoid this type of thing like the plague in the first place!).

In short, I had booked a small group night-time walk through the bars and food stands of Shinjuku’s hidden back alleys for this evening, which I thought looked like fun. Not because I couldn’t easily seek these spots out for myself, of course – but more just with a view to the sociability factor here, given the fact I’m flying solo for this 3 week trip. I’d had this item booked a while now, and had been getting various reminder emails right up to the day prior – so was admittedly a bit taken aback when, in the event, absolutely no one or nothing turned up at the designated meeting spot (and, yes, I did double and triple check I was definitely in the right place at the right time on the right date!), with no return contact at the time or since… I’m putting it down to a very uncharacteristic lapse in organisation from the usually meticulous Japanese (that or the operation in question has very suddenly gone out of business…). Which means I’ll now be progressing a refund request on both this morning and this evening’s activities as a result…

So there you have it – shit served three ways: “sumo”, Poo Museum and tour no-show… 😉

In all seriousness, it was only a little bit shit on the latter front though – and I just ended up making my own fun* instead! Before too long, I’d ended up parking myself in one of the teeny tiny little bars that collectively make up Tokyo’s Golden Gai area – and with room for only about 8 people along the counter, I soon got chatting to fellow guests (a mix of both fellow tourists and locals), and even took turns singing a bit of karaoke with them too…. Tragically, there was no Eminem on the song list (only about 30 songs worth) this time round – so had to make do with Yesterday by The Beatles. Which is likely why I look just about as pained here singing it as others must have been listening!).

* Disclaimer: By ‘fun’, I of course – for the moment – mean of the moderate, low-key, sober variety, whereby one nurses a single non-alcoholic beer for 90 minutes and is safely tucked up in bed by ten.

After this diverting little interlude, I then had a bit of nose about all the many and various little ‘hole in the wall’ food joints up and down the nearby Omoide Yokacho (otherwise affectionately known as “Piss Alley”), before grabbing some pork ramen at one of these along the way (in a place so “local” that no English was spoken or written here, so ended up just communicating by pointing at the soup – which did the job in fairness!).

Which just about left time for a final wander around central Shinjuku by night, before hopping on the metro and heading back to Shibuya for the night and to bed (where – 3 hours later – I find myself still writing up this entry, rather than catching up on last night’s missed sleep… 😉 ).

But that’s it – am done for now. That’s it for now after another manic instalment – will check in again in another day or two’s time…

Sayonara till then from me!

Well, I’m not entirely sure how I can top yesterday’s cats, capsules and khazis post, but I did start the morning by meeting Godzilla – which you don’t get to say every day!

In the event, I actually woke up full of beans this morning, having slept a good 9 or 10 hours last night in the cocooned, womb-like safety of my capsule pod (so method to the madness after all!). The only annoying thing was this whirrrrrrr like noise that kicked in every minute on the minute, which I presume was the remote sensor in place to (somewhat obtrusively – and most definitely non-consented on my part…) track and monitor my sleep quality – though nothing a bit of Youtube white noise didn’t sufficiently put paid to in the end.

First item of the day for me was hitting the train station to a) reserve some seats for onward travel and b) observe Tokyo during rush hour. Mission complete on the former front, but somewhat less success encountered on the latter… Shinjuku station was certainly busy and definitely labyrinthine (Bank is for utter wimps, by comparison!), yet somehow managed to simultaneously to encapsulate both the orderly and chaotic in one. Think mad crowds, unerringly queuing commuters, various jaunty musical interludes, and repeat announcements ringing out from the tannoys in that high-pitched, teenage girl staccato type voice that the Japanese seem to go in for…

However, any uniformed men or women shoehorning people on to packed out trains with the aid of a reliable broom (which, let’s face it, was what I was really after here…) were conspicuous only by their absence on this occasion. Apparently “train pushing” is much less of a thing these days, as it unsurprisingly fell foul of modern-day Health & Safety regulations – much to my own selfish disappointment, not to mention the presumed relief of the average Tokyo commuter…

From here it was on to downtown Shibuya, to both dump my bag at new hotel (still a cheapo hostel, but one at least with the luxury of its own bed) and visit the famous Shibuya Crossing – that iconic Tokyo cityscape scene of multiple pedestrian crossings all in play at once. I ended up getting hopelessly lost on the way there – Google was completely confused at the sheer multitude of floors, muddle of entrances and maze of exits at Shibuya station – and quite frankly I don’t bloody blame it! Finally though, I made it there (if more by accident than design in the end), to some great views from on high:

After downing a quick snack (pork bun and cucumber salad) from one of the ubiquitous 7/11s here, I then carried on down the Meiji Jinga Shinto shrine, which sticks in the mind for the giant vats of sake saved in straw barrels they have on show here (though I’ve yet to touch a drop of anything other than Asahi 0% here myself – check me!).

From here, it was just a hop skip and a jump to Harajuku, which I’d understood as a kind of underground, counter culture type neighbourhood, with a something of an edgy / alternative vibe. What I instead found in the (hilariously titled – only just noticed!) Takeshita Street was a true orgasm of rainbows, kawaii and cotton candy (the latter also only available in said rainbow theme). Honestly, it was like a unicorn had projectile vomited pink and glitter all down the street… I only spotted one or two OTT clad Harajuku girls ‘proper’ out in force here, and pretty much everybody else was normally attired and / or just queuing for crêpes (as in literally all around the block at every single confectionary stand going…). I have to say, I can’t really see where Gwen Stefani was coming from on this one, but one thing’s for sure: my 4-year old niece would absolutely bloody love the place!

In fairness, a few streets down from Takeshita (fnnarr fnnarr) was a more artsy network of backstreets, where I had a bit of a wander and stopped for a drink at the funky Design Fiesta Gallery, but that was about it in terms of visible counter culture in evidence for today. Maybe it’s just been done to death over the years, or perhaps it all happens at weekends, who knows…?? Either way, put me down as officially non-plussed for this one.

Anyhoo, last stop of the day for me was one of the city’s many food courts, where I stopped in for my third matcha latte of the day (weirdly, I didn’t think I liked matcha before I came here, and now its proving a burgeoning addiction…). Bizarrely enough, it turns out that a certain strata of Japanese restaurants have a “thang” for replicating the various dishes they have on offer in plastic format and setting them out in public view as a way of enticing people through the door. This is in spite of the fact that each and every one of the dishes invariably ends up looking disgusting – spaghetti carbonara in particular lends itself poorly to rendition in plastic form). The mind truly boggles – I mean, there must be literally a whole cottage industry out there responsible for crafting these abominations… Is each model unique to the restaurant, for example, or does each place choose from a set menu (no pun intended!) of available local and international dishes…? How and where do you train as a plastic food artiste (and – most importantly – can I get in on that gig….??).

And speaking of food, for those who’ve asked where my usual round of food pics are (as in actual real-life edible dishes!), fret ye not – I’ll look to cover off all that I am eating and drinking here in Japan via a couple of stand-alone posts along the way… 🙂

As for now, my Fitbit reliably informs me that I’ve covered 30,000 steps and clocked up 137 Active Minutes for the day, which is a new record – at least in the six months since official records began! My feet hurt and am knackered, so I’m off to bed for now – more from the Tokyo leg of the journey in a day or two’s time!

Well, here’s my first official check-in from Japan – and my prevailing sentiment about 12 hours in is a heady mix of both knackered and elated at this point!

Long-haul travel has two absolute truisms in my case, namely:

Firstly, I will barely sleep the night before, and will invariably wake up at 12am, 12.30am, 1am, 1.30am, etc. ad nauseum, convinced I’ve missed my alarm / flight, before the actual allotted hour finally rolls round…

Secondly, for reasons unknown, I have literally zero ability to sleep on a flight – no matter the length of the journey… I seriously envy the lucky majority, who seem to possess the easy knack of somehow dropping off as soon as the lights dim, waking up bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and ultimately refreshed at the other side.  I – by comparison – inevitably spend each and every sloooow, painful second of the journey dry-eyed and ram-rod wide-awake, watching endless airline movies of ever diminishing quality and slowly losing the will to live (first world problems, I appreciate…).

This effectively means I’m usually down 2 nights of sleep already before the trip has even begun – and why should Japan be any exception to the rule here….?! 😉  

And so it was, on this occasion (as with many others before it…), that 14 looooooong insomnious hours after departing Heathrow on Monday*, I landed bleary-eyed at Tokyo’s super-efficient – yet, conversely, ridiculously over-manned – Haneda Airport. I’d expected a bit more of a slog than usual to clear immigration here – Japan is still very much all up in COVID’s grill at the moment (or is it vice versa…?), and I’d had to download about 103 various QR codes (ok, well, all of two…) on this front before I came, plus don a face mask for the first time in a good long while on landing. But nope, everything was super orderly and efficient – and I was pretty much done and dusted from landing to luggage to leaving the building all within about 15 minutes, which has to be a new record I think!

From here, I successfully managed to navigate Japan’s delightfully eccentric public transportation system downtown to central Shinjuku – only to find it piddling it down when I got there (fortunately for me, the weather’s due to brighten up from tomorrow though). I wasn’t about to go sightseeing in the rain off the back of best part of two nights’ sleep deprivation and a 14 hour flight, so instead I did the only sensible thing I could possibly do under the circumstances: namely hitting up some local pussy and then getting nekkid with a bunch of strangers. Not quite the start I’d intended for this blog and – with that unexpected kick off – in hindsight I’m slightly regretting sharing the link quite so far and widely at this point! 😉

I am being flippant, of course – everything was, naturally, all above board and eminently respectable.

First stop in actuality was the Cat Café Mocha Lounge in Shinjuku, where a much needed matcha tea and a bit of cat love from the various residents soon lifted my flagging spirits.

(Do excuse the Burglar Bill hat, by the way. I’d donned it on the rainy walk to my accommodation to dump my bag, and ended up with irredeemable hat hair for the rest of the day as a result – hence beanie constituting a running theme in today’s pics as a result.)

Second stop was equally as wholesome as the first: namely a visit to the newly opened Thermae-Yu natural hot springs (onsen in Japanese) spa hotel, for a seriously relaxing dip in the restorative natural waters (swimming costumes strictly taboo for onsen bathing in Japan, apparently…). I then followed this up with an absolutely mind-blowing shiatsu pressure point massage (which, in fairness, I only fell asleep during just a liiiittle bit…).

No photo opps from this second little excursion for obvious reasons though (sorry to disappoint!). However, I did take the opportunity to take a few futuristic toilet pics on my travels. On further inspection, I can’t say I’m a particular fan of the ‘water fountain’ feature per se, but can definitely see the sound effect button having its practical uses from time to time… Moreover, I have to say that I’m going to find it seriously hard to ever go back to a non-heated toilet seat after three weeks in Japan, that’s for sure… I’m utterly spoiled for any other toilets now and forever more, I think.

As for now though, at the time of writing it’s coming up to 8pm local time. This brings us to the time we’ve all been waiting for, which – almost needless to say – is (drum roll sound effect) – MOTHERFRIKKIN’ JAPANESE CAPSULE HOTEL TIME!!!!!! I know you’re all excited; I’m feeling somewhat giddy myself here too.

Naturally given my first entry, I clearly had to spend my first night in a capsule hotel – or my 10 year old self would never forgive me (I may even have had to rescind my Blue Peter badge too, who knows…?). For all the obvious reasons (i.e. all the attendant noise and discomfort involved in sharing a stack of 6 ft by 4ft coffin beds alongside all and bloody sundry), I am only planning to do this for one night and one night only, before officially de-camping to – shall we say – somewhat less confined surroundings in the morning. My oh-so-cunning plan here was that it would make sense to schedule this stay for when I was already at peak knackered state, when I have half a fighting chance at a decent night’s sleep as a result (famous last words, very possibly…).

They say a picture speaks a thousand words, so cue obligatory photo montage of capsule hotel in all its various aspects – inclusive of beds, bunks, lockers, bathrooms and my own Bob the Builder silly hat look. I’m on the top bunk; there’s a (very modern and clean) shared bathroom down the hall, and a coffee machine for the morning – so, in short, I’m all set! And good job too, as I’m pretty much dead on my feet at this point…

And so it’s a case of sleep well and wait for good luck (家宝は寝て待て) as the Japanese supposedly say!

As for now, stay tuned for the next riveting adventure of Sarah in Japan, coming soon to a WordPress blog near you…

* Flight spent watching (in chronological order): The Menu, She Said, Fantastic Beasts, Everything Everywhere All at Once, King Richard and Nope…